The Ugly Side of Beauty (Part 2)

People always think that being beautiful means that you are more popular, but I would like to make the argument that beautiful people have fewer friends precisely because they are so beautiful.

That is not to say that beautiful people don't have a lot of people around them or that they don't receive a lot of positive attention -- because they certainly do.  But those people for the most part are hangers-on who want to be around them because they are so attractive.  When it comes to true friends, I would say that beautiful people have less. 

It makes sense if you think about it.  As I said in Part 1 of this series, people get really jealous of someone who's very beautiful, developing an obsessive need to one-up them, even when that person has done nothing to them personally; nothing except look better than them.  So can you imagine being friends with someone who is so far superior to you in looks, that whenever you hang out with this person, you become invisible?  That would be difficult for even the most confident person.  And it would create so much pent-up jealousy and resentment, that a friendship would be strained under it.  Friends are already more jealous of each other than of strangers, but to add marvelous good looks to the mix too?  That would seem to be inviting disaster.  And no one wants to be near disaster.  We want to run clear of it.  Especially so that no one can compare us to it. 

Sure there may be people wanting to hang out with a beautiful person in order to seek their approval, and as anyone with some sort of "power," to latch on to them therefore receiving the benefits of their good looks by proxy.  But those people can hardly be considered friends, since they are really using their beautiful acquaintance to get themselves more power and since they admire their acquaintance more for a trait than for being an actual person.

The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that this was true.  It would be hard to be friends with someone really good-looking.  After all, if I met a really hot guy (I mean, really hot!), would I want to be his friend?  Pardon me, but the first thing I think about when I see him is not that I would like to be friends with him.  I could not even imagine being friends with someone I would be continuously salivating over.  That would be wrong.  There would be only one type of relationship I would want with someone incredibly hot, and it wouldn't be friendship, sorry to say.  There would just be too much sexual tension.  And if he were to suggest that he only wanted to be friends with me?  Well then, I would be devastated.  Devastated.  Just friends?  With someone as hot as you?  I don't think so.  What a hit to the ego!  Don't you find me as sexually attractive as I find you?  Damn you!

That's why a beautiful person may grow increasingly wary and suspicious of the intentions of those around her.  She can't be sure, after all, if the person who comes up to her or offers to help her, wants anything more than to be of service.  Because chances are, as she's learned from past experiences, that person wants a relationship with her that's more than acquaintance, more than friendship.  Of course, there are some women who like this sort of attention because it flatters their ego.  But for those seeking true connections with people, not slaves, this can be a point of strife in their life. 

And then there is the matter that even beautiful people get jealous of other beautiful people -- especially if everyone else is remarking on that person's beauty.  Being used to being the most beautiful person in the room, one has to put one's ego aside when a more beautiful person walks in the room, and most people don't have the stomach to do it.  We would rather make snide remarks about that person, give them the evil eye, or tear them down a notch than to surrender our throne.  And after all, if one is beautiful, would one want to be in the company of someone who could take any attention from us?  It depends on the person, of course.  But in the end, even beautiful people, I would imagine, like to hang out with people of equal or less pleasing appearance.  After all, it is easy to like someone we can think ourselves better than, than to like someone who far surpasses us.  The former makes us feel good about ourselves, the latter makes us feel really badly.  It is an easy decision.

So as it goes, because of the amount of attention a beautiful person garners, and the negative feelings that that attention then garners, a beautiful person, if you think about it, becomes less pleasing than one would suppose.  We might like looking at the person -- because for some reason, looking at a beautiful person inspires some sort of happiness -- but when it comes to being friends with that person, we would decline, unless, of course, that person is a person we would hope to someday be more than friends with.  But being just friends?  One would be inclined to pass unless driven to it by some circumstance or need. 

That is why I say, beautiful people have less friends.  That is another cost of beauty.