People as Loud Blaring Sirens

Why is it that some people are always feeling the need to foist their insecurities onto you?  Especially when you have said nothing to them, done nothing to them but be yourself.  The only thing they hate you for is making them feel badly (albeit unintentionally) because of your appearance, your job, your wealth, or what have you.

These people feel that instead of improving and working on themselves, the only remedy for their low self-esteem is to try to knock you down a peg -- or two or three -- in an effort to make themselves come across as better.  The thing is, they don't come across as better -- they come across as insecure and catty.  And yet other people who aren't the target of their poisonous venom love and admire these people -- who are often chatty as well as catty -- because of their ability to mingle and "get along" with everyone.  I often tell people that the people who are the most outgoing and friendliest to you to your face, are often the ones who ridicule you behind your back.  I've witnessed this phenomenon many times.  And yet people love them.  And they love that people love them.  And they love that people love them while they hate and ridicule them behind their backs.

I used to complain about these people all the time to my friend, and I termed them to her to be like loud blaring car sirens that scream, "Look at me!" because for some reason or other, they feel you wouldn't look at them otherwise.  Additionally, the louder they are, the less you do really look at them.  It's like a mask.  They don't want you ever really looking at them, really seeing them, otherwise, you would notice all the flaws and scars that they feel really insecure about.  So they hide behind a haze of noise so that people will be so distracted, they will never look past it.  They're afraid if people actually saw them, actually saw what they were like, they wouldn't like what they saw, and that is a truth they can't handle.

The most annoying thing about these people -- I should really say women, because in my life, it has been mostly women -- is that they care so deeply that you like them.  They can go on and hate you to everybody and say snide remarks with a friendly smile to you, but they must always try to win your favor.  They need everyone to love them.

Me, I'm the opposite.  If I don't like someone, if they don't make me feel good to be around, then I snub them.  I know, that's not nice, that's not polite.  But neither are they to me.  And it's not as if I only give them one chance.  I give them many chances, and if they continue to act towards me disrespectfully, i.e. ridiculing me or in the case of guys, sexually harassing me, I say (in my head), "Good day to you.  I don't need you in my life.  There are plenty of other people in the world who are not like you.  And I don't need to put up with your crap."  And I stay as far away from these people, and avoid them as much as I can as if they were a toxic waste drum, which they are to me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not rude.  If they talk to me, I'm coolly polite.  But I don't pretend to like them.  I don't pretend to have warm feelings for them, because I don't.  You had your chances, and now it's over.  I know longer care about you.  I wash my hands of all concerns about you.  That's me.  I'm ok with hating people and I'm ok with having them hate me back.  Hate me, I don't care.  I hate you too.  It's mutual.  What I can't stand is people who must be loved while hating you behind your back.  My thing is, you have every right to hate me, but you have no right to hurt me.  Don't try to get love while spewing hate.  That's ridiculous.

Even despite my very apparent passionate feelings on people like this, I still do feel badly whenever I cut people off.  I wonder if I should; I wonder if I am right; I wonder if there is a better way where I could be more vocal about my feelings, express myself better if I don't want people to say certain things to me, and therefore make more friends instead of enemies.  I suppose I could if I really wanted these people in my life at all, but I don't.  Especially since I see that this is not how they treat other people; I know that they can help themselves, it's not like they're total ignoramuses.  But for some reason, they want to make me feel badly, they want to hurt me, and those are not the type of people I want to be around -- for all their fake smiles.  I don't need to be around toxic waste when there is plenty of nature around to enjoy and appreciate, and make me feel happy and loving.