Tiger's Absence Will Be Good for Him

I told myself I wasn't going to write anything more about Tiger Woods or this whole saga anymore, because I didn't want to feed the flames; but then I went to the Yahoo! homepage and saw a headline which got me all riled up.  It read:  "Wood's Time-Out Will Hurt Tiger, Inc." and beside it a link to a video, "Sponsors fleeing?" 

That really raised my ire, and I didn't even bother clicking on either link.  The headline was enough.  It's so irksome to me when people try to predict doom and gloom.  I always think, "Get a life!"  But I guess they are, because they're making money predicting doom and gloom, getting more readers and sponsors in the process.  And anyway, I suppose the reason I'm really annoyed is because when Tiger announced he was going to take an indefinite leave from golf, I thought that that was a very smart move on his part. 

For one thing, Tiger loves golf.  He is driven by golf.  He's played it his whole life, since he was a child.  He loved golf way before he met Elin and had two children.  The idea that he would give up golf, his first and greatest love, in order to salvage his family, means a lot.  Whether it is a PR ploy or what have you, he is still willing to sacrifice golf, the one thing he loves most in this world, for his family; which the whole world can only take as meaning, he loves his family more than he loves golf.  Unbelievable!  But that says something.  And it says something good.

The other reason his absence is good is because he's not coming back while the story is still big news, and while the sight of him still brings back the gossip mill once again.  If he did do that, even if it was in January or March or what have you, he would be too distracted to play as well as he is capable.  There are still people who support him, of course, but there are now people who have turned against him.  And they would probably heckle him on the course, and they would probably cheer whoever is playing against him, just to get under his skin.  That is the nature of people.  And that is not to mention the hoards of paparazzi and tabloid journalists that there would be there to capture his every movement, his every word.  It would take the strength of a saint to be able to concentrate under those conditions.  I mean, if he could win under those circumstances, people would probably be even in more awe of him than before; but that's a big "if" there.

The last reason that his absence is good (and an indefinite one even better) is that it will make people miss him and wonder when he is coming back.  Who cares if the sponsors flee now?  They will flee now but they will come back more than ever when he returns.  For sure, the sport of golf needs him.  He is their biggest draw.  Heck, even I admitted I only watch golf when he's playing.  It's true.  He stands out.  And if he had come back when he was supposed to, he probably would have drawn the biggest ratings ever in the history of golf.  But it wouldn't be true golf fans watching.  It would be people looking for a car crash, looky-loos eying for something terrible to happen or curious as just to how this person is or even plays golf.  But besides big ratings, he would have also drawn a lot of bitterness and resentment -- people out to get him, angry at him for disappointing them, taking out their own perceived flaws and insecurities on him for not being as perfect as they think he should be.  It wouldn't be a pretty picture.  There would be a lot of contempt going around for him, and I would imagine unless he were completely devoid of any sense, he would feel it all.  And that would not be good for him or his golf game. 

In addition, as Colin Montgomerie said, he showed a crack in his aura.  If he came back now, that crack would have widened to dramatic proportions.  One aspect of Tiger, if you ever watch him play, is that he doesn't always play the best golf.  But he is able to intimidate his opponents even when he's not playing well, and that is half the battle won right there.  Now with his aura of invincibility cracked he won't be able to intimidate.  He would have to play his greatest greatest game each time he played in order to win like he used to, and that would be an impossible feat to ask of anyone, let alone someone going through such a hard time personally. 

But since he is waiting to come back -- and indefinitely, so as not telling anyone when he is coming back -- it will allow the people that once rooted for him to miss him, and the people who are only after gossip to forget him.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.  We will be dying to know when he is coming back, just like what happened when he had knee surgery and was gone from golf for almost a year.  His absence made us miss him.  Absence can make even the stubbornest person's heart melt.  After all, as Mark Twain said, "Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children."  If you go away, and come back, it's like you're reborn again.  Look at Britney Spears.  She did some crazy, and I mean CRAZY stuff.  And yet, she disappeared from the headlines, became sober and serious, and now we actually think that she's doing all right.  She's made new again.  Perhaps not as great as she once was, but still, better than she was at her worst moment. 

Tiger Wood's absence will do the same for him.  We will miss him, and he will come back and do what he does best - play great golf.  And we will forgive him.  The sponsors will come back.  And we will move on with our lives. 

On New Year's Resolutions

I haven't blogged in a few days but that doesn't mean I haven't been productive.  I have been working on my goals for the next year, which some people call their New Year's Resolutions.  I myself don't call them my New Year's Resolutions because they never pan out when I do.

In fact, at a meeting of my friends I asked them if they would like to talk about our New Year's Resolutions the next time we met, but no one seemed especially thrilled.  They would rather have put it off until the new year, which I thought would be counterproductive as they are in fact for the new year.  But in any case, it made me think of the topic of New Year's Resolutions and why they are so daunting.

Being a writer and an ardent observer of language, I realize how important words are in classifying things.  It's the difference between saying something is cute or pretty, which both might mean attractive, but yet don't conjure up the same feelings.  I know, because I had "discussions" with people in college about which label was better, cute or pretty.  Boys said cute, girls said pretty.  It meant a lot to them to be right in their argument.  In any case, perhaps it is the wording of New Year's Resolutions that makes them so daunting and wearisome to think on.

The active term is "Resolution" after all.  And that is a big term, just in itself.  It has 10 letters and that's a lot.  I'm not being facetious either (another big word).  When faced with long words, we tend to tune out.  I say "we", because I tend to tune out, but I'll generalize my feelings to the whole of humankind for this post.

Especially problematic is when we aren't sure what the word means.  Resolution.  What does that mean?  It sounds so much like revolution.  But that's a different word, though not so different meaning.  They both suggest some sort of change.  Resolution, however, is the word and it has a few meanings.  It can mean that you resolve to do something, meaning you are determined upon doing it.  That sounds good.  Strong.  It can also mean that you have solved something, thus the root word "solution" in the term.  But both these ideas of being determined and solving something for the new year for some reason makes us cringe.  By all accounts, after all, the reputation of New Year's Resolutions is to make them and then break them.

Perhaps one reason is because, do we ever really think that we can ever completely solve whatever it is that is wrong with us in the new year?  Perhaps we could if we didn't use the word "new."  After all, the new year is only new so long and then it is just the year, or the current year.  Pretty much after January, the new year ceases to be new taking with it our resolutions with it.  

And perhaps, besides the daunting word choice, at the root of all this anxiety is that at the very essence, New Year's Resolutions have the idea of "should" behind them.  And as Jack Canfield reminded me, no one wants to do something they "should" do.  They want to do something they "want" to do, but if it is something they consider as a "should," they will inherently push against it.  That's how people are.  We hate direct orders.  Even if it comes from ourselves.  We won't listen, especially to ourselves because we know we lack the resolve (there you go) to punish ourselves if we break our promise to ourselves.

So here is my proposal:  we should (I know, the irony) stop saying "should," (like that song, "Never say never") and start saying we "should not" when it comes to New Year's Resolutions.  At least, when it comes to things we "should" do.  For those we shouldn't, a "should" would still work.  For example:

I should play video games all day long.
I should not go to sleep earlier.
I should not eat healthier.
I should not exercise once a day.
I should watch more TV.

There you go.  An opposite list, if you will, of non-solutions.  My New Year's Non-solutions.  Let's tell ourselves to do the opposite of what is good for us and see what we do.  It's an idea.  I can only think that whenever I see the words "should not," I think "Why not?"  Why not?  And it makes me at least think more favorably of whatever comes after those words, "should not".  Human nature is so very complex. 

In any case, for all my rambling, there will be no New Year's Resolutions for me, only goals for 2010.  For some reason, that sounds better.