The Unhappy Choice

Compared to other nations, America is pretty well off.  Most people can afford a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food for their stomachs (too much food actually), cars to drive them to work, and cellphones, Ipods, and what-have-you.  We have so many modern conveniences that make our every day life, well, convenient, but for all that, we are not a happy nation.

So why are we so unhappy? 

Too much choice makes us unhappy.  So says my friend who read a book with just that hypothesis, and I am inclined to agree.

We have a lot of choice here.  We have a lot of freedom here.  A lot of people, especially people who never travel abroad, don't realize how great it is that we can say whatever we want and not worry about being imprisoned or killed by our government.  They don't know any worse, so they don't realize how well off they are.  They are like people who constantly sit in first-class all their lives and expect to be spoiled by everyone, including their government.

That's the problem with having a lot of choice -- we get spoiled by it.  We start to think that we're entitled to everything because we have the power to pick and choose what we want.  And if we're not happy, we can jump ship as soon as we find something better.  Choice makes us work less hard to be happy with what we have.  And it makes us constantly crave to have something better; whatever we don't have at the moment always seems better than what we have right now.  But the thing is, choice -- too much choice -- doesn't make us happy because we can never be content.  It drives us to always constantly think, "I could do better," instead of, "I'm happy with what I've got."

When we have too much choice, we don't realize that we have control over our happiness.  Instead, we think that things have control over our happiness.  And if we could just get this thing or that thing, we'd be happy.  But we aren't, because things don't make us happy, at least not for long.  We get used to them and then they fail to bring us joy any longer.

When we choose, we like the feeling that we made the right choice, the best choice.  We like the idea that we couldn't have done any better.  That feeling makes us happy.  Having too much choice takes away that feeling.  And it leaves us feeling like we can never do good enough; something else will always be better.

If we can never be content with any choice we make for long, how can we ever hope to attain long-term fulfillment?

Perhaps what we need to do -- because we can't eliminate the choices that life gives us or pretend we don't see them -- is to change our perspective, and most of all, to give ourselves some slack.  Why do we need to have the best of everything?  We don't.  And the notion of the best, at some point, is subjective, at best.  As long as we are happy, can find happiness, that is what matters.