I just read an article that Halle Berry recently split with her baby's father, Gabriel Aubry, and I found it really sad. For one thing, I always get sad when celebrity couples whom I like break up (Tom and Nicole, Brad and Jen); but for another thing, this latest breakup got me to thinking again: Is it impossible to be a beautiful woman and happy in love?
Just look at lovely Sandra Bullock: Beautiful, successful, and with a cheating, soon-to-be ex-husband. I was thinking that perhaps Halle chose too well with her guy being a model and nine years younger than her -- he's got to have so much temptation looking the way he does -- but Jesse James is the total opposite, and yet he still found a way to break Sandra's heart. So what's a beautiful, successful girl to do?
There are some that seem to make it work. Recently re-crowned People's Most Beautiful Person Julia Roberts makes it work with her husband Danny Moder. But we hear so many stories about the beautiful women who it doesn't work for, that it makes me wonder what it is that keeps them from finding happiness in love.
And then I thought of this theory that might apply. Maybe these women are just too beautiful. They are too beautiful for their own good. And maybe the reason why their significant others were drawn to them was mainly because they are so beautiful. But the thing about beauty is that it fades, not just because of time and aging, but because of familiarity. If you look at a beautiful rose long enough, or even a beautiful scene long enough, it no longer is as pleasing as when you first saw it. In fact, it diminishes in beauty the more time you are around it and see it, even if nothing about it has physically changed. Love, of course, can make you see things as more beautiful, but if you loved something mainly for its beauty, you will find that that love will fade.
I learned this lesson really early on with a boyfriend who I thought at the time was really good-looking. But some time into our relationship, I didn't find him so good-looking anymore. In fact, I thought he started to look funny-looking, and I doubted my eyes. That feeling I had when I first saw him had gone. I had to then constantly ask my friend if he was in fact, good-looking, because I could no longer see it. And of course, that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I should have realized what really attracted me to him were his looks more than anything, and that couldn't last. But the mind plays tricks with the eyes and the heart, and familiarity and personality alter the way you see a person.
The same thing happened to me with Denzel Washington and Halle Berry. I know they're good-looking people, and when I first saw them I was blown away by their gorgeousness. But now I don't see that anymore. That awe I used to feel when I saw them went away, and I can't get it back.
It almost seems better then not be so pretty. Maybe by being so beautiful, there's nowhere to go but down, in terms of someone's affections for you. And the thing with loving someone for their beauty is that, once you insert their personality, you will see them differently. I don't think anyone -- anyone -- can live up to the fantasy sparked by a beautiful face. What you will inevitably find behind that is a person, an ordinary person, living their life behind extraordinary features.
But trying to be less beautiful to be happier? That would seem like crazy talk, especially in this country, and around the world. However, maybe one doesn't have to go to the extreme of uglying oneself to find happiness. Maybe one can just let oneself be ugly sometimes, just so that people can appreciate the times when one is really beautiful again.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
While You Were Washing Dishes...
Moisturize them too.
It dawned on me recently that washing dishes might not be so good for my hands. I know, I know, I remember those Palmolive commercials from years ago, but I didn't really consider washing dishes made a difference until I looked at my hands and thought, "I want them to be smoother." "Dishwashing hands" I did not want, but rather, smooth, soft-looking, beautiful hands. And so, I decided to purchase a pair of rubber household gloves to protect my hands while washing dishes.
Luckily I was able to find a size that fit me just right, not like those big over-size gloves that are uncomfortable to use. The first time I tried the gloves on, I realized they were snug to put on, but fit just right when fully on. And as I had them on it hit me, why not put some lotion on my hands before I put on the gloves? That way, the gloves would go on easier and I'd be moisturizing my hands while I washed the dishes.
I tried out this crazy idea and it worked. In fact, it worked better than I even imagined because my hands came out really soft. I can only surmise that the warmth of the water I was washing the dishes in caused the lotion to absorb even better into my skin, therefore increasing its effectiveness. Who would have thought?
Like my minute workout (in my post, "What a Minute Can Do"), I had found a way to apply my time at some arduous task (in that case, waiting) to some rewarding task (in that case, learning to bellydance). And so whereas before I was drying out my hands washing dishes, now I was moisturizing them: a complete 180. And so it goes, as in my other experience, I can enjoy the task much more because I know that I'm doing myself good. And I'm getting two things done at the same time: Washing the dishes and moisturizing my hands.
So it is in life that you can find ways to enhance it while you are busy doing something else.
It dawned on me recently that washing dishes might not be so good for my hands. I know, I know, I remember those Palmolive commercials from years ago, but I didn't really consider washing dishes made a difference until I looked at my hands and thought, "I want them to be smoother." "Dishwashing hands" I did not want, but rather, smooth, soft-looking, beautiful hands. And so, I decided to purchase a pair of rubber household gloves to protect my hands while washing dishes.
Luckily I was able to find a size that fit me just right, not like those big over-size gloves that are uncomfortable to use. The first time I tried the gloves on, I realized they were snug to put on, but fit just right when fully on. And as I had them on it hit me, why not put some lotion on my hands before I put on the gloves? That way, the gloves would go on easier and I'd be moisturizing my hands while I washed the dishes.
I tried out this crazy idea and it worked. In fact, it worked better than I even imagined because my hands came out really soft. I can only surmise that the warmth of the water I was washing the dishes in caused the lotion to absorb even better into my skin, therefore increasing its effectiveness. Who would have thought?
Like my minute workout (in my post, "What a Minute Can Do"), I had found a way to apply my time at some arduous task (in that case, waiting) to some rewarding task (in that case, learning to bellydance). And so whereas before I was drying out my hands washing dishes, now I was moisturizing them: a complete 180. And so it goes, as in my other experience, I can enjoy the task much more because I know that I'm doing myself good. And I'm getting two things done at the same time: Washing the dishes and moisturizing my hands.
So it is in life that you can find ways to enhance it while you are busy doing something else.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Imperfections Make Us Beautiful
Today I was looking at my girl kitty's paws, and thinking how very very adorable they are.
They're even more adorable because I used to think they were ugly. Yes, I thought a kitty's paws were ugly. But that's only because I had another kitty's paws to compare them to. My boy kitty has cute little soft pink pads on his white paws that are very very cute and perfect. I had him first and so thought that all paws should look like his. Therefore, when I saw my girl kitty's white paws had pads that were not perfectly uniform in color but a mixture of a darker pink with black spots, I thought them very ugly. And could not look at them without disgust at first.
It's funny how our standards change the way we see things.
But as I grew to love my girl kitty, I also grew to love her paws; and to realize that they were not as ugly as I had thought them. In fact, they were not ugly at all, but the cutest little paws in the world. They looked like multicolored jelly bellies in fact. Beautiful little jelly bellies. And the variation of color made them more beautiful than even my boy kitty's paws, which had been my standard. I then told this story to my friend, who when I saw her next, exclaimed how cute my girl kitty's paws were.
It is all about perception.
My other friend who recently got a puppy noticed that the puppy had an under bite. It makes him look like he has two large fangs sticking up from the bottom of his mouth, even when he closes his mouth. She told me this before I met him, and that her sisters made fun of him; but when I saw him, I thought this little feature made this cute puppy even cuter. It was his signature, and it made him unique. The same thing goes with my kitty's pink and black paws.
The funny thing about society is that we keep espousing the idea that perfection is beautiful. That is why all these people keep getting plastic surgery in hopes of looking like some cookie cutter version (Barbie doll) of what society thinks is beautiful. The thing is, in reality, society doesn't know what is beautiful, or I should say, what can be beautiful. We base our standard on what we already know and what other people tell us, but nature, nature surprises us. And we soon find that the thing we thought was too strange and odd to be beautiful, is actually, in its very nature, beautiful, because it is so different and rare, and something we would not have thought of ourselves.
Whenever I see something I deem to be too perfect, it scares me, be it a piece of fruit at the market or a person. Everything has its flaws -- that is actually what makes it beautiful. Perfection is not in itself beautiful. Though we can strive for it and try to attain it, it is not something that can ever be reached; and good thing too, because it is not where true beauty lies. True beauty is 99%, or less, perfect. But there is that 1% of imperfection, at least, that makes it whole and beautiful.
It's funny how this society keeps trying to look like the same cookie cutter version of an ideal that doesn't exist, when in fact, our own personal eccentricities are what make us beautiful. No mountain top is just like every other mountain. No snowflake is like any other. No sea shell is like any other. Man makes things that look alike. He craves conformity, uniformity. But nature, very rarely. Nature likes diversity in beauty. That's because it is ever evolving, and improving. And the thing is, man's idea of beauty is ever changing too, based on another man's view, and another man's. And in reality, society's view of nature is not a general consensus, but the will of the strongest person's opinion holding rank over everyone else's view.
In my view, nature gives some sort of beauty to everyone and everything. But it is our job to find that beauty in ourselves, and not to diminish it by making ourselves generic copies of each other. There is no perfect beauty (that might even be an oxymoron), but there is an individual's true beauty. And that, you will come to find, is even more appreciated in the world.
They're even more adorable because I used to think they were ugly. Yes, I thought a kitty's paws were ugly. But that's only because I had another kitty's paws to compare them to. My boy kitty has cute little soft pink pads on his white paws that are very very cute and perfect. I had him first and so thought that all paws should look like his. Therefore, when I saw my girl kitty's white paws had pads that were not perfectly uniform in color but a mixture of a darker pink with black spots, I thought them very ugly. And could not look at them without disgust at first.
It's funny how our standards change the way we see things.
But as I grew to love my girl kitty, I also grew to love her paws; and to realize that they were not as ugly as I had thought them. In fact, they were not ugly at all, but the cutest little paws in the world. They looked like multicolored jelly bellies in fact. Beautiful little jelly bellies. And the variation of color made them more beautiful than even my boy kitty's paws, which had been my standard. I then told this story to my friend, who when I saw her next, exclaimed how cute my girl kitty's paws were.
It is all about perception.
My other friend who recently got a puppy noticed that the puppy had an under bite. It makes him look like he has two large fangs sticking up from the bottom of his mouth, even when he closes his mouth. She told me this before I met him, and that her sisters made fun of him; but when I saw him, I thought this little feature made this cute puppy even cuter. It was his signature, and it made him unique. The same thing goes with my kitty's pink and black paws.
The funny thing about society is that we keep espousing the idea that perfection is beautiful. That is why all these people keep getting plastic surgery in hopes of looking like some cookie cutter version (Barbie doll) of what society thinks is beautiful. The thing is, in reality, society doesn't know what is beautiful, or I should say, what can be beautiful. We base our standard on what we already know and what other people tell us, but nature, nature surprises us. And we soon find that the thing we thought was too strange and odd to be beautiful, is actually, in its very nature, beautiful, because it is so different and rare, and something we would not have thought of ourselves.
Whenever I see something I deem to be too perfect, it scares me, be it a piece of fruit at the market or a person. Everything has its flaws -- that is actually what makes it beautiful. Perfection is not in itself beautiful. Though we can strive for it and try to attain it, it is not something that can ever be reached; and good thing too, because it is not where true beauty lies. True beauty is 99%, or less, perfect. But there is that 1% of imperfection, at least, that makes it whole and beautiful.
It's funny how this society keeps trying to look like the same cookie cutter version of an ideal that doesn't exist, when in fact, our own personal eccentricities are what make us beautiful. No mountain top is just like every other mountain. No snowflake is like any other. No sea shell is like any other. Man makes things that look alike. He craves conformity, uniformity. But nature, very rarely. Nature likes diversity in beauty. That's because it is ever evolving, and improving. And the thing is, man's idea of beauty is ever changing too, based on another man's view, and another man's. And in reality, society's view of nature is not a general consensus, but the will of the strongest person's opinion holding rank over everyone else's view.
In my view, nature gives some sort of beauty to everyone and everything. But it is our job to find that beauty in ourselves, and not to diminish it by making ourselves generic copies of each other. There is no perfect beauty (that might even be an oxymoron), but there is an individual's true beauty. And that, you will come to find, is even more appreciated in the world.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Jealous vs Snobbery: The True Battle Between the Parties
In my view, this is the tale (albeit extremely simplified) of the war between Republicans and Democrats.
Republicans are jealous of Democrats, because Democrats make them feel bad about themselves. They make them feel like they're not as smart, not as educated, not as worldly. That's why they're quick to name Democrats "elitist" and other such names, as if Democrats think they're so much better. Now Democrats might not really feel this way, but no matter. Republicans think they do, and that's what matters.
Because, in reality, it is not the hatred that another feels for us that makes us hate them, it is the hatred that we feel toward ourselves that makes us hate them. And if we feel in some way inferior to someone, we use other people as scapegoats for that feeling and as our own personal punching bags. Even if that person doesn't do anything directly to harm us than just live their life and be themself, we'll hate them because their life, their accomplishments and personal assets make us feel bad about ourselves. And that's enough. Even if that someone might be trying to do us some good, to help us be better, if we see that that messenger comes in a package where they seem perfectly ideal, better than us -- like Obama, perhaps, -- no matter what they want to do for us, we will say, "No thanks!" We will actually hate them for trying to help us, like they think they're so much better than us, that they think they know what's better for us. Our ego would rather allow us to die than to feel badly about ourselves.
Democrats, on the other hand, are snobs. They think that Republicans are dumb to believe what they do. This is because Democrats don't understand Republicans, and so they dismiss their ideas as coming from a place of irrationality and emotion, rather than reason and intelligence. Now, this might not be true, but it doesn't matter, because Democrats believe this. And then they wonder why it is that Republicans hate them so much.
Democrats don't realize that this feeling of elitism, of thinking they know better, and are better, is felt by the other side. They think only that they feel this and that the other side doesn't know this, and when they are called elitists, they wonder why. But the truth is, they do feel that they are better. They just don't realize that the other side sees that they feel this, or they don't understand why the other side cares that they feel this. After all, who cares what they think? Certainly not the other side, right? But the other side is quick to feel inferior, and so quick to hate anyone who helps them in feeling that way, intentional or not.
And so this, really, is the battle between the parties: a battle between egos (which is basically like all other battles in all the world). It's just that in this one, one side cares too much about what the other side thinks of them, and the other side cares too little about what the other side thinks.
Republicans are jealous of Democrats, because Democrats make them feel bad about themselves. They make them feel like they're not as smart, not as educated, not as worldly. That's why they're quick to name Democrats "elitist" and other such names, as if Democrats think they're so much better. Now Democrats might not really feel this way, but no matter. Republicans think they do, and that's what matters.
Because, in reality, it is not the hatred that another feels for us that makes us hate them, it is the hatred that we feel toward ourselves that makes us hate them. And if we feel in some way inferior to someone, we use other people as scapegoats for that feeling and as our own personal punching bags. Even if that person doesn't do anything directly to harm us than just live their life and be themself, we'll hate them because their life, their accomplishments and personal assets make us feel bad about ourselves. And that's enough. Even if that someone might be trying to do us some good, to help us be better, if we see that that messenger comes in a package where they seem perfectly ideal, better than us -- like Obama, perhaps, -- no matter what they want to do for us, we will say, "No thanks!" We will actually hate them for trying to help us, like they think they're so much better than us, that they think they know what's better for us. Our ego would rather allow us to die than to feel badly about ourselves.
Democrats, on the other hand, are snobs. They think that Republicans are dumb to believe what they do. This is because Democrats don't understand Republicans, and so they dismiss their ideas as coming from a place of irrationality and emotion, rather than reason and intelligence. Now, this might not be true, but it doesn't matter, because Democrats believe this. And then they wonder why it is that Republicans hate them so much.
Democrats don't realize that this feeling of elitism, of thinking they know better, and are better, is felt by the other side. They think only that they feel this and that the other side doesn't know this, and when they are called elitists, they wonder why. But the truth is, they do feel that they are better. They just don't realize that the other side sees that they feel this, or they don't understand why the other side cares that they feel this. After all, who cares what they think? Certainly not the other side, right? But the other side is quick to feel inferior, and so quick to hate anyone who helps them in feeling that way, intentional or not.
And so this, really, is the battle between the parties: a battle between egos (which is basically like all other battles in all the world). It's just that in this one, one side cares too much about what the other side thinks of them, and the other side cares too little about what the other side thinks.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I Love My Cast Iron Pan!
I bought my first cast iron cookware, a cast iron skillet from Lodge Logic, and have only used it twice, but already I am in love with it.
It takes a bit more getting used to because it's really heavy (you could really hurt someone with this), and you clean it and prepare it differently than other pans. You have to "season" it after each use by spraying (or in my case, spreading) a thin layer of oil onto the clean warm pan, and letting it set. This seems to work, as when I cook, the pan doesn't stick at all. You do have to use oil when you cook too but that's like with any cookware. And the pan comes pre-seasoned so you can use it right away.
It works just as well as a non-stick pan but you can scratch the surface and not worry that it'll ruin the coating. If some of the material leeches into your food, it's actually good for you because it's made of iron. It just puts a little more iron into your diet.
I got this because the non-stick coating on my pan had started to scratch off a lot and I was getting antsy about the coating getting into my food and also because cooking became a pain once the coating stopped working. (I didn't realize that you're not supposed to use non-stick under high temperatures). Cleaning it was a pain too because I couldn't scrub -- even though food started sticking to it -- for fear that the coating would come off even more. But that is not something you have to worry about with the cast iron pan. They actually recommend that you scrub it with a good, stiff brush.
With cast iron, there might be a little extra step to prepare it, but the reward you reap is worth it. The ease of cooking with and cleaning it makes up for that step a hundred times over. And when I use it, the food seems to cook more evenly, and taste more delicious. It's weird, but for the first time in my life, I am in love with cookware.
It takes a bit more getting used to because it's really heavy (you could really hurt someone with this), and you clean it and prepare it differently than other pans. You have to "season" it after each use by spraying (or in my case, spreading) a thin layer of oil onto the clean warm pan, and letting it set. This seems to work, as when I cook, the pan doesn't stick at all. You do have to use oil when you cook too but that's like with any cookware. And the pan comes pre-seasoned so you can use it right away.
It works just as well as a non-stick pan but you can scratch the surface and not worry that it'll ruin the coating. If some of the material leeches into your food, it's actually good for you because it's made of iron. It just puts a little more iron into your diet.
I got this because the non-stick coating on my pan had started to scratch off a lot and I was getting antsy about the coating getting into my food and also because cooking became a pain once the coating stopped working. (I didn't realize that you're not supposed to use non-stick under high temperatures). Cleaning it was a pain too because I couldn't scrub -- even though food started sticking to it -- for fear that the coating would come off even more. But that is not something you have to worry about with the cast iron pan. They actually recommend that you scrub it with a good, stiff brush.
With cast iron, there might be a little extra step to prepare it, but the reward you reap is worth it. The ease of cooking with and cleaning it makes up for that step a hundred times over. And when I use it, the food seems to cook more evenly, and taste more delicious. It's weird, but for the first time in my life, I am in love with cookware.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Being the Tortoise: Enjoying the Race
I wrote a blog a few months back about how I was working on a project, and working on it slowly, a few pieces at a time until I was done. Well, I finished that project last month. So my slow and steady approach worked.
I didn't get it done when I thought I would, which left me feeling somewhat stressed during the closing hours before the deadline; but I did get it done in time. However, when I was done, I no longer cared. People really liked it and I was pleased with its reception. But it's been a month now, and I no longer care about it; not like I cared about it before. *Sigh. That is what happens with projects. You can't wait to finish them, but once you do, all the fun is gone.
It's like what Mary Kay Ash (founder of Mary Kay cosmetics) said in her autobiography, you're happiest when you're closest to reaching your goal. Not after. Once you've reached it, you've moved on.
It's a strange thing, that. And after all the projects I've done, it still surprises me. When you're working on something, you fantasize how happy you'll be when you're done. But once you're done, there's very little joy. There's satisfaction, but the huge, overwhelming joy you expected doesn't come. You put the finished project aside mentally -- and perhaps physically -- and your mind already starts turning to the other things you have to do. This happens all the time. Because, as one person wisely said, "Your inbox is never empty." You will always have something to do. If you live your life thinking you'll only be happy when you finish everything, you'll never be happy.
Thus, going back to the tortoise and the hare analogy, perhaps slow and steady not only wins the race, slow and steady gets to enjoy the race as well. Looking back, I have some fond memories of working on that project. If we were all like the hare and we raced through life, then we might get a lot of things done, but when would we ever get a chance to enjoy any of it? Only if we ever gave ourselves a chance to look back and wish we had enjoyed things more. But that wouldn't be enjoyment then. It would be regret.
I wonder then, if maybe the reason that it is taking me so long to finish another project is because I care too much about it. I really want to finish it, but at the same time, I don't. Because I know what'll happen when I finish. I won't care. And maybe I still want to care; maybe I enjoy caring about it. But I guess what I have to realize is that there'll be other projects to care about after this one, and other projects after that.
So, if you know you're going to finish the race eventually, you might as well enjoy the journey there. Like the tortoise perhaps.
I didn't get it done when I thought I would, which left me feeling somewhat stressed during the closing hours before the deadline; but I did get it done in time. However, when I was done, I no longer cared. People really liked it and I was pleased with its reception. But it's been a month now, and I no longer care about it; not like I cared about it before. *Sigh. That is what happens with projects. You can't wait to finish them, but once you do, all the fun is gone.
It's like what Mary Kay Ash (founder of Mary Kay cosmetics) said in her autobiography, you're happiest when you're closest to reaching your goal. Not after. Once you've reached it, you've moved on.
It's a strange thing, that. And after all the projects I've done, it still surprises me. When you're working on something, you fantasize how happy you'll be when you're done. But once you're done, there's very little joy. There's satisfaction, but the huge, overwhelming joy you expected doesn't come. You put the finished project aside mentally -- and perhaps physically -- and your mind already starts turning to the other things you have to do. This happens all the time. Because, as one person wisely said, "Your inbox is never empty." You will always have something to do. If you live your life thinking you'll only be happy when you finish everything, you'll never be happy.
Thus, going back to the tortoise and the hare analogy, perhaps slow and steady not only wins the race, slow and steady gets to enjoy the race as well. Looking back, I have some fond memories of working on that project. If we were all like the hare and we raced through life, then we might get a lot of things done, but when would we ever get a chance to enjoy any of it? Only if we ever gave ourselves a chance to look back and wish we had enjoyed things more. But that wouldn't be enjoyment then. It would be regret.
I wonder then, if maybe the reason that it is taking me so long to finish another project is because I care too much about it. I really want to finish it, but at the same time, I don't. Because I know what'll happen when I finish. I won't care. And maybe I still want to care; maybe I enjoy caring about it. But I guess what I have to realize is that there'll be other projects to care about after this one, and other projects after that.
So, if you know you're going to finish the race eventually, you might as well enjoy the journey there. Like the tortoise perhaps.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Simple Pimple Treatment - Toothpaste
Put toothpaste on your zits.
I've heard of this simple treatment for pimples time and time again, but it was not until recently that it really proved to be an effective solution.
I've actually tried the toothpaste remedy before but as it didn't seem to me to do much in terms of shrinking the pimple, I gave up on it; that is, until I was really desperate. I hadn't had a pimple in quite some time (which gave me quite a feeling of satisfaction that I was keeping my face quite clean), when lo and behold, a pimple started forming on my chin; and it wouldn't go away early like all my other ones had of recent date. I haven't had a pimple on my chin for almost a year, I think, so this was also a shocker. I could not have imagined what brought it on.
But whatever it was, the pimple would not go away. And I had already tried my whole arsenal of acne treatments: salicylic acid, zeno acne clearing device, clay mask. But none would work completely. I was out of tricks and wished I still had some ProActiv Refining Clay Mask left from years ago. That stuff always seemed to suck the life out of pimples. But alas, I did not. And I wasn't about to go spending money for a big tube of that stuff.
But while I was in the bathroom, it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't tried toothpaste. I didn't think it would do much good but I thought I might as well try it since nothing else was making a big impact on the pimple. And do you know what? It worked. I was happily surprised.
My pimple had just been starting to form. It was in that stage where it hurts and where you can see and feel this hard white mass developing under your skin. After I applied the toothpaste, and left it on for a few hours, I noticed that a tiny white bubble had formed. I realized that the toothpaste must have broken through to the pimple and caused some pus to come out. After I washed off the toothpaste, I realized that the pimple hadn't diminished much in size but that the white pus under the skin had seemed to retreat into balls under their respective pores. Something that happens further along in the pimple's life span. I therefore concluded that the toothpaste had helped it along. Happily then, I applied some more toothpaste and let it set overnight.
When I woke up the next morning and washed my face, I noticed that again there was a white bubble and also that the pimple had now hardened. It still hurt some so I could not clear it out with my handy skin care tool. But that was just as well. I happily applied more toothpaste again so that it would keep drying out the pimple. And voila, it kept hardening and stopped hurting. All I needed to do was wait for it to completely dry out and finish its evolution, and then I could either clear it out, or it would fall off of its own accord.
And so I learned, toothpaste really does help treat acne. It dries the pimple out so that it doesn't get bigger, and speeds up the healing process. I don't know why it didn't work before except that maybe I used it too late then. I used to wait until the pimple had already come to a head. This time I couldn't wait and did it before the pimple rose. That seemed to help. Of course, it could just depend on the pimple. And maybe my other acne arsenal weakened it to the point that it responded to the toothpaste treatment. In any case, I'd try it again. It clearly worked this time.
I've heard of this simple treatment for pimples time and time again, but it was not until recently that it really proved to be an effective solution.
I've actually tried the toothpaste remedy before but as it didn't seem to me to do much in terms of shrinking the pimple, I gave up on it; that is, until I was really desperate. I hadn't had a pimple in quite some time (which gave me quite a feeling of satisfaction that I was keeping my face quite clean), when lo and behold, a pimple started forming on my chin; and it wouldn't go away early like all my other ones had of recent date. I haven't had a pimple on my chin for almost a year, I think, so this was also a shocker. I could not have imagined what brought it on.
But whatever it was, the pimple would not go away. And I had already tried my whole arsenal of acne treatments: salicylic acid, zeno acne clearing device, clay mask. But none would work completely. I was out of tricks and wished I still had some ProActiv Refining Clay Mask left from years ago. That stuff always seemed to suck the life out of pimples. But alas, I did not. And I wasn't about to go spending money for a big tube of that stuff.
But while I was in the bathroom, it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't tried toothpaste. I didn't think it would do much good but I thought I might as well try it since nothing else was making a big impact on the pimple. And do you know what? It worked. I was happily surprised.
My pimple had just been starting to form. It was in that stage where it hurts and where you can see and feel this hard white mass developing under your skin. After I applied the toothpaste, and left it on for a few hours, I noticed that a tiny white bubble had formed. I realized that the toothpaste must have broken through to the pimple and caused some pus to come out. After I washed off the toothpaste, I realized that the pimple hadn't diminished much in size but that the white pus under the skin had seemed to retreat into balls under their respective pores. Something that happens further along in the pimple's life span. I therefore concluded that the toothpaste had helped it along. Happily then, I applied some more toothpaste and let it set overnight.
When I woke up the next morning and washed my face, I noticed that again there was a white bubble and also that the pimple had now hardened. It still hurt some so I could not clear it out with my handy skin care tool. But that was just as well. I happily applied more toothpaste again so that it would keep drying out the pimple. And voila, it kept hardening and stopped hurting. All I needed to do was wait for it to completely dry out and finish its evolution, and then I could either clear it out, or it would fall off of its own accord.
And so I learned, toothpaste really does help treat acne. It dries the pimple out so that it doesn't get bigger, and speeds up the healing process. I don't know why it didn't work before except that maybe I used it too late then. I used to wait until the pimple had already come to a head. This time I couldn't wait and did it before the pimple rose. That seemed to help. Of course, it could just depend on the pimple. And maybe my other acne arsenal weakened it to the point that it responded to the toothpaste treatment. In any case, I'd try it again. It clearly worked this time.
Sometimes We Give Up Too Soon
I got a pretty good lesson recently about giving up.
I just bought a set of Pyrex glass containers. It came with an extra bonus lid with air holes and a removable tab you can snap on and off the air holes to let air into the container. I suppose they invented this lid to make microwaving easier. In any case, the lid is pretty well-made, so I liked it.
Before I would use my new containers, I washed them thoroughly in an even bigger container in my kitchen sink. I was almost done when I realized that the tab, which is small and which I had removed from the lid, was not to be seen or felt on the bottom of the big red container. I immediately figured that the tab had gone down into the garbage disposal, and disappointed, I poured the rest of the water out of the container. As soon as I poured the water though, I saw the tab go floating down toward the drain. I instantly let go of the container and put my hands over the drain blindly, as the container was now blocking my view, in hopes of catching the tab. But I could feel the water quickly rushing down. No tab did I feel. And when I pulled up the red container, the sink was empty.
As I was covering the hole, and felt no tab go through, I suddenly thought, "Why did this happen to me?" I know it's silly, but I had just got this set, and without even having the chance to use it, I had just lost a piece. And it was a new lid they were testing out, and now I wouldn't be able to use it as it it was meant to be used.
But as soon as I had this thought, I realized that it was my fault. I had assumed that the tab was gone before it was. I didn't see it in the red container so I assumed it was down the drain. I didn't realize that it could have been in the sink, outside the container (which is where I assume it was) on the side hidden to me. And when I gave up and let go all the water into the sink, that's when the tab actually sank down into the drain. It happened after I gave up; not before. I gave up too soon and that is why I lost the tab.
Now the tab was not a really big thing (both literally and figuratively) and I did manage to get over losing it. Of course, it wasn't losing it that hurt, it was the idea that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the lid at all as it was meant to be enjoyed. And it was the idea that I could have saved the tab, if I hadn't given up. Or maybe if I hadn't been fearful, and had fear cloud my judgement, I would have tried another solution like slamming the big container over the drain. Or maybe I just didn't have the time to think then; only to react.
But like I said, losing the tab was a small thing. It just taught me a big lesson: Sometimes we give up too soon. It's too early to give up unless you actually see the tab swirling into the drain. Until then, assume you still have a chance to find it hidden somewhere.
I just bought a set of Pyrex glass containers. It came with an extra bonus lid with air holes and a removable tab you can snap on and off the air holes to let air into the container. I suppose they invented this lid to make microwaving easier. In any case, the lid is pretty well-made, so I liked it.
Before I would use my new containers, I washed them thoroughly in an even bigger container in my kitchen sink. I was almost done when I realized that the tab, which is small and which I had removed from the lid, was not to be seen or felt on the bottom of the big red container. I immediately figured that the tab had gone down into the garbage disposal, and disappointed, I poured the rest of the water out of the container. As soon as I poured the water though, I saw the tab go floating down toward the drain. I instantly let go of the container and put my hands over the drain blindly, as the container was now blocking my view, in hopes of catching the tab. But I could feel the water quickly rushing down. No tab did I feel. And when I pulled up the red container, the sink was empty.
As I was covering the hole, and felt no tab go through, I suddenly thought, "Why did this happen to me?" I know it's silly, but I had just got this set, and without even having the chance to use it, I had just lost a piece. And it was a new lid they were testing out, and now I wouldn't be able to use it as it it was meant to be used.
But as soon as I had this thought, I realized that it was my fault. I had assumed that the tab was gone before it was. I didn't see it in the red container so I assumed it was down the drain. I didn't realize that it could have been in the sink, outside the container (which is where I assume it was) on the side hidden to me. And when I gave up and let go all the water into the sink, that's when the tab actually sank down into the drain. It happened after I gave up; not before. I gave up too soon and that is why I lost the tab.
Now the tab was not a really big thing (both literally and figuratively) and I did manage to get over losing it. Of course, it wasn't losing it that hurt, it was the idea that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the lid at all as it was meant to be enjoyed. And it was the idea that I could have saved the tab, if I hadn't given up. Or maybe if I hadn't been fearful, and had fear cloud my judgement, I would have tried another solution like slamming the big container over the drain. Or maybe I just didn't have the time to think then; only to react.
But like I said, losing the tab was a small thing. It just taught me a big lesson: Sometimes we give up too soon. It's too early to give up unless you actually see the tab swirling into the drain. Until then, assume you still have a chance to find it hidden somewhere.
Friday, April 16, 2010
What a Minute Can Do
I have been trying to learn bellydancing for a long time. I took a class a few years ago, but the instructor was so terrible I didn't learn anything. At the library, years later, I found a book on bellydancing and copied all the instructions into a Powerpoint Presentation (yes, I am a big nerd), only to lose that file. Finally, I searched on Amazon and found a wonderful bellydance DVD (if you're interested, it's called, "Luscious -- The Bellydance Workout for Beginners").
This DVD breaks down each move for you and explains how to do it slowly and accurately. Still, even with this great tutorial and the ability to learn at my own pace, I found many of the moves really really hard. I went through the whole tutorial just to get an idea, and then I made it my goal to be an expert in one area of the moves each month, i.e. one month was "Circles".
I thought this strategy would work, but it didn't. I ended up barely looking at the DVD for about a year. But I didn't give up yet. I then made it my goal to workout every day. However, that also did not work out. And then recently, one day, while my computer was loading (and it takes a while because I have Vista), I turned on the DVD and did one exercise. It was really very quick, less than a minute it felt like; and after I was done with it, my computer had loaded. I began to do this each day, practicing just the moves that I couldn't get before, a different one each day. After many days, as you might guess, I had gone through the whole DVD again. And so I restarted it again. And amazingly enough, this time the steps that I had found the hardest to do became doable. I actually even was able to follow the dancer with ease when she did a combination routine, a thing I had found impossible and confusing to do before.
Now of course, if you practice something long enough you get better at it. But the thing is, I barely practiced it. A minute or so is all I gave it, and yet I have improved to the point where I can follow some of the dancing. That's amazing if you think about it: Just a minute a day and you can get better at something. And that minute you can waste on watching TV or surfing the net or doing nothing, but if you actually applied yourself, you could learn how to do something in just that one minute.
It is really true what I learned from Jack Canfield ("The Success Principles"), that work builds upon itself and becomes better the longer you do it. After all, that minute a day becomes 30 minutes a month. You could do just 30 minutes a month, but I don't think I would learned as much doing one session of 30 minutes as I did doing 30 sessions of 1 minute. I think, like a bank, your brain puts in interest after you put in something. So even though time-wise you spend 30 minutes a month doing something, in reality, with all the interest your brain puts in it, you might actually get 300 minutes of results for that 30 minutes. That's a pretty good investment.
The other reason I wanted to blog about this is because the reason I started working out -- if just for a minute -- on a daily basis was because it kept me from waiting for my computer to load. Before, I would just be sitting there bored, letting the time pass me by as my computer slowly came to life. Now I actually make use of that waiting time, and I don't wait at all, because when I'm done, my computer is loaded. Now just think about it: Before, that time would have been completely wasted. But now, in the time that it takes my computer to load, I have learned something great and become healthier in the process.
I'm hoping that if this can work for me, it can also work for others. But not only that, I am hoping that we can start a revolution. That instead of just waiting for things to happen, we use that minute to do something; i.e. instead of just waiting in line bored out of our mind at the bank, we can workout while we stand there waiting. We can stretch or run in place. I know, people might look at us funny because it's not the usual thing to be doing in line at a bank, or anywhere, but if enough people started to do it, we could start a revolution of healthier, fitter people. All that wasted time would have been put to use to make us better, smarter, stronger.
And then we would realize, we do have enough time to do things. We just need to see that it doesn't take that much effort to make a difference. As long as we keep building on it, we'll get better.
This DVD breaks down each move for you and explains how to do it slowly and accurately. Still, even with this great tutorial and the ability to learn at my own pace, I found many of the moves really really hard. I went through the whole tutorial just to get an idea, and then I made it my goal to be an expert in one area of the moves each month, i.e. one month was "Circles".
I thought this strategy would work, but it didn't. I ended up barely looking at the DVD for about a year. But I didn't give up yet. I then made it my goal to workout every day. However, that also did not work out. And then recently, one day, while my computer was loading (and it takes a while because I have Vista), I turned on the DVD and did one exercise. It was really very quick, less than a minute it felt like; and after I was done with it, my computer had loaded. I began to do this each day, practicing just the moves that I couldn't get before, a different one each day. After many days, as you might guess, I had gone through the whole DVD again. And so I restarted it again. And amazingly enough, this time the steps that I had found the hardest to do became doable. I actually even was able to follow the dancer with ease when she did a combination routine, a thing I had found impossible and confusing to do before.
Now of course, if you practice something long enough you get better at it. But the thing is, I barely practiced it. A minute or so is all I gave it, and yet I have improved to the point where I can follow some of the dancing. That's amazing if you think about it: Just a minute a day and you can get better at something. And that minute you can waste on watching TV or surfing the net or doing nothing, but if you actually applied yourself, you could learn how to do something in just that one minute.
It is really true what I learned from Jack Canfield ("The Success Principles"), that work builds upon itself and becomes better the longer you do it. After all, that minute a day becomes 30 minutes a month. You could do just 30 minutes a month, but I don't think I would learned as much doing one session of 30 minutes as I did doing 30 sessions of 1 minute. I think, like a bank, your brain puts in interest after you put in something. So even though time-wise you spend 30 minutes a month doing something, in reality, with all the interest your brain puts in it, you might actually get 300 minutes of results for that 30 minutes. That's a pretty good investment.
The other reason I wanted to blog about this is because the reason I started working out -- if just for a minute -- on a daily basis was because it kept me from waiting for my computer to load. Before, I would just be sitting there bored, letting the time pass me by as my computer slowly came to life. Now I actually make use of that waiting time, and I don't wait at all, because when I'm done, my computer is loaded. Now just think about it: Before, that time would have been completely wasted. But now, in the time that it takes my computer to load, I have learned something great and become healthier in the process.
I'm hoping that if this can work for me, it can also work for others. But not only that, I am hoping that we can start a revolution. That instead of just waiting for things to happen, we use that minute to do something; i.e. instead of just waiting in line bored out of our mind at the bank, we can workout while we stand there waiting. We can stretch or run in place. I know, people might look at us funny because it's not the usual thing to be doing in line at a bank, or anywhere, but if enough people started to do it, we could start a revolution of healthier, fitter people. All that wasted time would have been put to use to make us better, smarter, stronger.
And then we would realize, we do have enough time to do things. We just need to see that it doesn't take that much effort to make a difference. As long as we keep building on it, we'll get better.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Becoming Pretty Takes Good Genes
It occurred to me this morning as I was doing my morning routine that perhaps being pretty takes good genes.
Well, duh, you say. But let me explain myself further:
Some people are born beautiful. And some people get some help via plastic surgery, makeup, clothes, etc.
But in this society, even though we worship plastic beauty (let's call it) and put those people on a pedestal, we also, at the same time, look down on anyone who had work done; if we should learn about it.
Now, evolutionarily speaking -- or as anthropologists would have you believe -- beauty is an expression of good genes. Therefore, the more beautiful a person is, the more wonderful their genes. That's the theory.
But what happens if the person is not naturally beautiful, but they get some help from a doctor's scalpel or some other modern contrivance? Does that mean their genes are less wonderful?
Before, I would have argued yes, because that beauty they created is not an expression of nature. But today I thought of an argument to play my own devil's advocate. And this is the argument:
If a person can make themselves beautiful through whatever devices available to them, does this not mean that they are smart enough to find the right doctors or products or what have you to make themselves beautiful? And if they are smart enough to do that, to make themselves look good, does not that mean that their genes are in someway better? At least better than those who don't know how to make themselves look good?
Do you see what I 'm saying here? They may not have what you would call the "beautiful gene", but they might have what you would call, what I would call, the "smart gene", which some may argue, is an even better gene to have. Because, being smart can get you more things. It can even get you beauty. Beauty can't get you smarts, but smarts can get you beauty. And after all, these people who can make themselves look good, in so doing can attract a mate with good "beautiful genes" if they so desire, and therefore propagate even better genes down the line.
Now, I am not saying that people who overdo plastic surgery or any other cosmetic procedure have this smart gene. Because they do not look beautiful. And in order to possess this smart gene, one must be able to actually make oneself look good. Making oneself look bad or worse does not qualify. A person who can make themselves look good also has to know when to stop, when too much would be overkill and would make them look bad. This ability to make the right decisions would show that they have the smart gene, because it takes a pretty smart person to know when good enough is good enough, and more would be too much.
Not everyone is capable of making such decisions, and that is why I would argue people who know how to make these decisions, how to become pretty, also have good genes; and they figure out how to express them.
Well, duh, you say. But let me explain myself further:
Some people are born beautiful. And some people get some help via plastic surgery, makeup, clothes, etc.
But in this society, even though we worship plastic beauty (let's call it) and put those people on a pedestal, we also, at the same time, look down on anyone who had work done; if we should learn about it.
Now, evolutionarily speaking -- or as anthropologists would have you believe -- beauty is an expression of good genes. Therefore, the more beautiful a person is, the more wonderful their genes. That's the theory.
But what happens if the person is not naturally beautiful, but they get some help from a doctor's scalpel or some other modern contrivance? Does that mean their genes are less wonderful?
Before, I would have argued yes, because that beauty they created is not an expression of nature. But today I thought of an argument to play my own devil's advocate. And this is the argument:
If a person can make themselves beautiful through whatever devices available to them, does this not mean that they are smart enough to find the right doctors or products or what have you to make themselves beautiful? And if they are smart enough to do that, to make themselves look good, does not that mean that their genes are in someway better? At least better than those who don't know how to make themselves look good?
Do you see what I 'm saying here? They may not have what you would call the "beautiful gene", but they might have what you would call, what I would call, the "smart gene", which some may argue, is an even better gene to have. Because, being smart can get you more things. It can even get you beauty. Beauty can't get you smarts, but smarts can get you beauty. And after all, these people who can make themselves look good, in so doing can attract a mate with good "beautiful genes" if they so desire, and therefore propagate even better genes down the line.
Now, I am not saying that people who overdo plastic surgery or any other cosmetic procedure have this smart gene. Because they do not look beautiful. And in order to possess this smart gene, one must be able to actually make oneself look good. Making oneself look bad or worse does not qualify. A person who can make themselves look good also has to know when to stop, when too much would be overkill and would make them look bad. This ability to make the right decisions would show that they have the smart gene, because it takes a pretty smart person to know when good enough is good enough, and more would be too much.
Not everyone is capable of making such decisions, and that is why I would argue people who know how to make these decisions, how to become pretty, also have good genes; and they figure out how to express them.
Sometimes Things Come Back to Us
I lost a tote bag recently and I was very upset. I was upset for one, because the bag was a gift from a friend, and for two, because I had entrusted it to someone who had vouchsafed for its safe return. That did not happen as, in the course of events, the bag was overlooked; and at the end of the night, when all was said and done, the bag was gone. And no one knew what had happened to it.
I myself figured that someone had taken the bag for good or for ill, stealing it or wanting a souvenir, and that it was gone for good. This troubled me as I had just begun using this bag and was looking forward to years of quality use out of it. And I will admit I do tend to get sentimentally attached to items that serve me well in my daily life. And so I was rather put out by its sudden and complete absence.
The person whom I had entrusted with it said it would perchance be found yet, but I did not truly believe her. As other items that I had left out, pens and whatnot, had been taken, I figured the bag would have been as well. I suppose I was thinking of the worst of human nature at the moment and none could convince me otherwise.
And now that I think about it my pessimism at that moment is funny to me because I have been one of the most optimistic people when it comes to losing something, having lost a few things that I then found again when it would have seemed improbable. But I think the difference this time must have been that this was a gift from a good friend. Things you can buy again, but an item that has been gifted from someone you care about represents something special, because it comes with a happy memory; in that sense, though the item can be bought again, it can never really be replaced.
And so there I was decrying terrible thieving people and entrusting people with objects I valued. This went on for most of the day though I attempted to distract myself with sleep and Hulu. At the end of the day, the person I entrusted, who really did feel bad about losing my personal item, relayed to me that a bag matching mine had been found by the establishment from whence it had gone missing. I could not believe my ears. I really had thought it was truly gone, that there was no way it would make it back to me. And yet, here it was found. I could hardly believe it. Were people not as bad as I thought? Had I overestimated the worth of this bag to anyone other than myself?
Whatever the answers to my questions were, I was not willing to believe in my good fortune until I had claimed the bag and saw that it truly was my bag. And it was. It was my bag, the bag I thought I'd never see again. And I was happy.
Now this might sound like a silly story about a silly bag but at the time of its discovery, I realized I might have just been taught a lesson. And that lesson was that: Sometimes things come back to us; even the things we think are lost for good.
I myself figured that someone had taken the bag for good or for ill, stealing it or wanting a souvenir, and that it was gone for good. This troubled me as I had just begun using this bag and was looking forward to years of quality use out of it. And I will admit I do tend to get sentimentally attached to items that serve me well in my daily life. And so I was rather put out by its sudden and complete absence.
The person whom I had entrusted with it said it would perchance be found yet, but I did not truly believe her. As other items that I had left out, pens and whatnot, had been taken, I figured the bag would have been as well. I suppose I was thinking of the worst of human nature at the moment and none could convince me otherwise.
And now that I think about it my pessimism at that moment is funny to me because I have been one of the most optimistic people when it comes to losing something, having lost a few things that I then found again when it would have seemed improbable. But I think the difference this time must have been that this was a gift from a good friend. Things you can buy again, but an item that has been gifted from someone you care about represents something special, because it comes with a happy memory; in that sense, though the item can be bought again, it can never really be replaced.
And so there I was decrying terrible thieving people and entrusting people with objects I valued. This went on for most of the day though I attempted to distract myself with sleep and Hulu. At the end of the day, the person I entrusted, who really did feel bad about losing my personal item, relayed to me that a bag matching mine had been found by the establishment from whence it had gone missing. I could not believe my ears. I really had thought it was truly gone, that there was no way it would make it back to me. And yet, here it was found. I could hardly believe it. Were people not as bad as I thought? Had I overestimated the worth of this bag to anyone other than myself?
Whatever the answers to my questions were, I was not willing to believe in my good fortune until I had claimed the bag and saw that it truly was my bag. And it was. It was my bag, the bag I thought I'd never see again. And I was happy.
Now this might sound like a silly story about a silly bag but at the time of its discovery, I realized I might have just been taught a lesson. And that lesson was that: Sometimes things come back to us; even the things we think are lost for good.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
It's Better to Learn It Now
Recently, I learned a lesson about keeping things perfect.
I received a gift but I didn't want to use it yet, lest my hands smudge it and despoil it. So I purchased a cheap cover for it online. And while I waited, I didn't use my gift because I figured the cover would come soon enough.
Well, I waited. And I waited. And I waited. And the cover still didn't come. And boy, did I get angry. I wanted to complain and write bad reviews. Now mind you, this was still in the established window for delivery, but since they had said it shipped already, I couldn't see why it hadn't already arrived. And so I was -- to put it mildly -- annoyed.
But a few days into this, more rational thought came to me and I realized: It was my fault for being annoyed. Not because I had ordered it online, nor because I wasn't patient, but because I had imposed on myself a rule that I couldn't touch my gift until this cover arrived to protect it, to keep it perfect forever more.
And that's when I realized, perhaps the universe was trying to send me a message. Perhaps it was trying to teach me something about keeping things perfect; that being, you can't keep things perfect. Thing get messed up, and dirty, and leave tracings of your touch. But so what if it does? So what if it's not perfectly clean? As long as it works and you have fun with it, that's what matters.
And so, finally, with this thought and after another day passed without receiving my cover, I opened my gift, and I (*gasp) touched it, and I got smudges on it, and I used it. And I also had fun with it. And it occurred to me then that it wasn't the worse for wear because I touched it. Actually, it seemed more mine, more personal, because I did.
A few days later, my cover finally arrived. And I put it on. And it occurred to me that it had looked a tad bit better without the cover. And then I was glad to have had that time where I had touched my gift as it was, bare and naked. It sounds silly, but there it was. I realized then that touching it unprotected hadn't made it less perfect at all; in fact, it had made it somehow better.
When I first realized this lesson I was learning, I soon thought after, "Why didn't I learn this before? I should have known this before." I have thought this thought many times in my life. It seemed to me that I could never learn anything yet it would have been better if I had learned it earlier. But then it occurred to me that: Now is the best time to learn it.
Because we need to learn something new every day. That's what makes life satisfying and full. If I had learned everything I needed to learn before this day, then I could certainly make use of my knowledge for ever after, but then also, how less satisfying my days would be if I never again after learned anything of value. If everything became, like they say, old-hat. Life would get pretty boring.
But life is not like that. Life can teach you many many things if you will only listen. And not only do you become more knowledgeable for it, you also become more satisfied with life for it.
And so now I know better: You learn something new every day. You'll just have to get used to that.
I received a gift but I didn't want to use it yet, lest my hands smudge it and despoil it. So I purchased a cheap cover for it online. And while I waited, I didn't use my gift because I figured the cover would come soon enough.
Well, I waited. And I waited. And I waited. And the cover still didn't come. And boy, did I get angry. I wanted to complain and write bad reviews. Now mind you, this was still in the established window for delivery, but since they had said it shipped already, I couldn't see why it hadn't already arrived. And so I was -- to put it mildly -- annoyed.
But a few days into this, more rational thought came to me and I realized: It was my fault for being annoyed. Not because I had ordered it online, nor because I wasn't patient, but because I had imposed on myself a rule that I couldn't touch my gift until this cover arrived to protect it, to keep it perfect forever more.
And that's when I realized, perhaps the universe was trying to send me a message. Perhaps it was trying to teach me something about keeping things perfect; that being, you can't keep things perfect. Thing get messed up, and dirty, and leave tracings of your touch. But so what if it does? So what if it's not perfectly clean? As long as it works and you have fun with it, that's what matters.
And so, finally, with this thought and after another day passed without receiving my cover, I opened my gift, and I (*gasp) touched it, and I got smudges on it, and I used it. And I also had fun with it. And it occurred to me then that it wasn't the worse for wear because I touched it. Actually, it seemed more mine, more personal, because I did.
A few days later, my cover finally arrived. And I put it on. And it occurred to me that it had looked a tad bit better without the cover. And then I was glad to have had that time where I had touched my gift as it was, bare and naked. It sounds silly, but there it was. I realized then that touching it unprotected hadn't made it less perfect at all; in fact, it had made it somehow better.
When I first realized this lesson I was learning, I soon thought after, "Why didn't I learn this before? I should have known this before." I have thought this thought many times in my life. It seemed to me that I could never learn anything yet it would have been better if I had learned it earlier. But then it occurred to me that: Now is the best time to learn it.
Because we need to learn something new every day. That's what makes life satisfying and full. If I had learned everything I needed to learn before this day, then I could certainly make use of my knowledge for ever after, but then also, how less satisfying my days would be if I never again after learned anything of value. If everything became, like they say, old-hat. Life would get pretty boring.
But life is not like that. Life can teach you many many things if you will only listen. And not only do you become more knowledgeable for it, you also become more satisfied with life for it.
And so now I know better: You learn something new every day. You'll just have to get used to that.
You Don't Have to Be Famous to Inspire People
Whenever I went to the grocery store it seemed that I would always get treated terribly by the checkout people. I would always be polite and smiling, and say "thank you"; but for whatever reason, they didn't seem to like me.
And then one day I noticed a patron do something that surprised me. I was waiting in line, and he was checking out. The cashier had no one to help her bag the groceries because they were short of staff at that time. Now, what surprised me was that instead of waiting for the cashier to bag his groceries, like everyone else did, this young man bagged his own groceries and went off.
I had never seen anyone do that in this store and so I was amazed. At this particular store, they usually bag your groceries for you. I think people actually expect that service, and that's why you pay a little more to go there versus other places where you bag your own groceries. So it never occurred to me to help bag my own groceries. I had concluded or assumed that it was "their job" and not mine to do it, and so I would always just stand by and watch them do it.
But after seeing that young man commit such a generous act, I realized that I could do the same. It was like seeing him do that gave me permission to do the same. I now understood that even though bagging groceries was "their job" because it was among the company's services, it didn't mean I couldn't help out a fellow human being, especially when they were so swamped with patrons.
And so, I started helping the cashiers bag my groceries when necessary, instead of waiting for them to do it all, and do you know what I noticed? They were much nicer and friendlier to me because of it. I think they appreciated the fact that I didn't treat them as servants but as people in need of a hand.
Some may say that I am doing their job for them, and not being paid for it. But then I would say that I am actually helping myself out by helping them. For one, I get my groceries bagged a lot quicker. For two, I get a positive response, which makes my shopping trips much more enjoyable. Smiles make me happier than having my groceries bagged. And besides, it's not like I do it all on my own. They help me and are happier for it.
Recently, I was in line again and a man was checking out ahead of me. Again, the cashier was alone with no one to help her bag his groceries. This man, however, did not help her out like the young man I witnessed before. No, he did what I used to do and waited for her to bag all his groceries. He had quite a few groceries so it took her some time to finish. And all the while he waited. And all the while I waited. When it was my turn, I did what I usually do and helped the cashier bag my groceries. Good thing too because I had quite a lot and it would have taken her a long time by herself, and I would have been waiting all the while. She was really grateful for my help and thanked me. But as I was wrapping up, I noticed that the young man behind me in line was anxious to get to the back of the lane as if he wanted to help bag his groceries too. And to see that made me really happy.
To think that it all started with that young man who I saw helping someone in need. I realized then that you can really make a difference by just acting in the way you think is right. People will follow you, people you don't even know, and other people will follow them. And you can create a whole revolution in behavior simply by doing one tiny act of kindness.
And then one day I noticed a patron do something that surprised me. I was waiting in line, and he was checking out. The cashier had no one to help her bag the groceries because they were short of staff at that time. Now, what surprised me was that instead of waiting for the cashier to bag his groceries, like everyone else did, this young man bagged his own groceries and went off.
I had never seen anyone do that in this store and so I was amazed. At this particular store, they usually bag your groceries for you. I think people actually expect that service, and that's why you pay a little more to go there versus other places where you bag your own groceries. So it never occurred to me to help bag my own groceries. I had concluded or assumed that it was "their job" and not mine to do it, and so I would always just stand by and watch them do it.
But after seeing that young man commit such a generous act, I realized that I could do the same. It was like seeing him do that gave me permission to do the same. I now understood that even though bagging groceries was "their job" because it was among the company's services, it didn't mean I couldn't help out a fellow human being, especially when they were so swamped with patrons.
And so, I started helping the cashiers bag my groceries when necessary, instead of waiting for them to do it all, and do you know what I noticed? They were much nicer and friendlier to me because of it. I think they appreciated the fact that I didn't treat them as servants but as people in need of a hand.
Some may say that I am doing their job for them, and not being paid for it. But then I would say that I am actually helping myself out by helping them. For one, I get my groceries bagged a lot quicker. For two, I get a positive response, which makes my shopping trips much more enjoyable. Smiles make me happier than having my groceries bagged. And besides, it's not like I do it all on my own. They help me and are happier for it.
Recently, I was in line again and a man was checking out ahead of me. Again, the cashier was alone with no one to help her bag his groceries. This man, however, did not help her out like the young man I witnessed before. No, he did what I used to do and waited for her to bag all his groceries. He had quite a few groceries so it took her some time to finish. And all the while he waited. And all the while I waited. When it was my turn, I did what I usually do and helped the cashier bag my groceries. Good thing too because I had quite a lot and it would have taken her a long time by herself, and I would have been waiting all the while. She was really grateful for my help and thanked me. But as I was wrapping up, I noticed that the young man behind me in line was anxious to get to the back of the lane as if he wanted to help bag his groceries too. And to see that made me really happy.
To think that it all started with that young man who I saw helping someone in need. I realized then that you can really make a difference by just acting in the way you think is right. People will follow you, people you don't even know, and other people will follow them. And you can create a whole revolution in behavior simply by doing one tiny act of kindness.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Out of Nothing: Something
When you have nothing, you create something.
I learned this truth during my week of meditation. During that time, the only chance I had to get up and do something was when I had a meal break.
Now, during this week, I couldn't go out for more food; I could only eat what was in my kitchen. And what I discovered during one meal break was that my bananas and strawberries were getting too ripe. Every other time, I would have just eaten the overripe bananas as they were, though all the while disliking them. And I would have eaten the strawberries as they were, and by dipping them into tons of white sugar. This time, however, I thought, "Why not combine the bananas and the strawberries?" So I did. And I thought, "Why not add milk and make a strawberry banana milkshake?" So I did. What before would have been an unsavory snack of overripe bananas and sugary strawberries, now became a quite healthy and delicious tasting strawberry banana milk concoction, no sugar added.
That experience makes me realize that when we have nothing, we create something. We go into ourselves and think of ideas and carry them out, and sometimes we do amazing things. But when we have stuff already made for us, like pre-packaged food and movies and iPods, and we know we can just go out and buy more stuff, we stop working our brains so much; we become merely consumers. And we consume and consume and consume. But the problem with only consuming, and not creating, not producing, is that life becomes one big blur of consuming, without the chance to discover the things, or realize the things, or create the things that can give life even more satisfaction and meaning.
I guess I just wanted to say that sometimes it is good not to have something. It is that not having it that pushes you to create something else, and perhaps leads you to something better.
I learned this truth during my week of meditation. During that time, the only chance I had to get up and do something was when I had a meal break.
Now, during this week, I couldn't go out for more food; I could only eat what was in my kitchen. And what I discovered during one meal break was that my bananas and strawberries were getting too ripe. Every other time, I would have just eaten the overripe bananas as they were, though all the while disliking them. And I would have eaten the strawberries as they were, and by dipping them into tons of white sugar. This time, however, I thought, "Why not combine the bananas and the strawberries?" So I did. And I thought, "Why not add milk and make a strawberry banana milkshake?" So I did. What before would have been an unsavory snack of overripe bananas and sugary strawberries, now became a quite healthy and delicious tasting strawberry banana milk concoction, no sugar added.
That experience makes me realize that when we have nothing, we create something. We go into ourselves and think of ideas and carry them out, and sometimes we do amazing things. But when we have stuff already made for us, like pre-packaged food and movies and iPods, and we know we can just go out and buy more stuff, we stop working our brains so much; we become merely consumers. And we consume and consume and consume. But the problem with only consuming, and not creating, not producing, is that life becomes one big blur of consuming, without the chance to discover the things, or realize the things, or create the things that can give life even more satisfaction and meaning.
I guess I just wanted to say that sometimes it is good not to have something. It is that not having it that pushes you to create something else, and perhaps leads you to something better.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
On Celebrities & Nose Jobs
Recently, I became very interested in celebrity nose jobs.
I've always been somewhat interested in their plastic surgeries, especially when it's obvious and doesn't turn out as well as they might have hoped, but I started delving particularly into nose jobs, rhinoplasty, and what I found was shocking. Shocking!
Well, shocking to me, who believed (I guess) naively that celebrities in Hollywood came out of a great gene pool and looked beautiful and fabulous with only the help of makeup and nice clothes. I assumed -- incorrectly -- that the only ones who got plastic surgery were the ones who weren't so beautiful before and who became only somewhat better looking after, and the ones who were starting to age (which is a no-no in Hollywood), and needed a lift. Boy, was I wrong.
I was never one to really believe those sites where the plastic surgeons show you two pictures and tell you the countless number of surgeries one person had on their face. I usually thought they pointed out way too much surgery to be believed, and I couldn't see any difference at all sometimes, and so I would disregard their whole spiel. But when you tell me that they have one thing done, like a nose, and I can see from their before and after pictures that that feature looks completely different (how does a nose shrink as you get older?), then I can believe the idea that they had work done. And that's exactly what happened. I stumbled upon a site (albeit it was because I searched for "celebrity rhinoplasty") and I found so many celebrities, whom I had assumed to be naturally beautiful, had had nose jobs. The photos were just too telling. I could not believe it. Virtually every celebrity I thought was beautiful had had some work done, and usually, it was their nose, although they sometimes had other stuff done too.
They say that about 95% (or some other extremely high number like that) of people in Hollywood have nose jobs. And it's not only women, men too. Plastic surgery reigns supreme in H town. I assumed that it was just boob jobs. That's what people always talk about. But I was wrong. It is everything. Almost no one in Hollywood is natural. Almost everyone is man-made, a mere mirage.
Now there's nothing wrong with nose jobs or plastic surgery, and if it makes you more beautiful (as it certainly does in some cases) and happier, I say go for it. I really don't care that celebrities get plastic surgery; it just disillusions me when I realize that they're not really as beautiful as I thought they were. Nature didn't make them beautiful, a doctor did. But I had believed that they were really, truly beautiful. And that's how they're sold, as real beauties, as creatures better than everyone else; when in point of fact, the only difference between them and everyone else is the skilled hand of a plastic surgeon.
I told my friends about all the celebs I found who have had nose jobs, and one of my friends said that "It actually makes you feel better, knowing that they're not so unattainable as you thought." Yes, it does, and it doesn't. Yes, I like thinking that they're no better than me, that with some money and a skilled plastic surgeon, I could be as breathtakingly beautiful as some of them. But on the other hand, I also liked looking up to some of these people; I liked admiring them as something better. It's like looking up to Superman and finding out that he wasn't born strong, he just takes a lot of steroids. Sure, it's nice to think that I could be like him if I just did what he did, but at the same time, I liked thinking there was someone like him in the world. He was unique, a better creature created from nature. To find out that he has been worked on by man despoils him, topples him from his high pedestal, and makes him ordinary.
I think that's the real disappointment, finding out that these people you looked up to are really just ordinary people with great surgeons. It's nice to know, and yet, it's not at the same time.
I've always been somewhat interested in their plastic surgeries, especially when it's obvious and doesn't turn out as well as they might have hoped, but I started delving particularly into nose jobs, rhinoplasty, and what I found was shocking. Shocking!
Well, shocking to me, who believed (I guess) naively that celebrities in Hollywood came out of a great gene pool and looked beautiful and fabulous with only the help of makeup and nice clothes. I assumed -- incorrectly -- that the only ones who got plastic surgery were the ones who weren't so beautiful before and who became only somewhat better looking after, and the ones who were starting to age (which is a no-no in Hollywood), and needed a lift. Boy, was I wrong.
I was never one to really believe those sites where the plastic surgeons show you two pictures and tell you the countless number of surgeries one person had on their face. I usually thought they pointed out way too much surgery to be believed, and I couldn't see any difference at all sometimes, and so I would disregard their whole spiel. But when you tell me that they have one thing done, like a nose, and I can see from their before and after pictures that that feature looks completely different (how does a nose shrink as you get older?), then I can believe the idea that they had work done. And that's exactly what happened. I stumbled upon a site (albeit it was because I searched for "celebrity rhinoplasty") and I found so many celebrities, whom I had assumed to be naturally beautiful, had had nose jobs. The photos were just too telling. I could not believe it. Virtually every celebrity I thought was beautiful had had some work done, and usually, it was their nose, although they sometimes had other stuff done too.
They say that about 95% (or some other extremely high number like that) of people in Hollywood have nose jobs. And it's not only women, men too. Plastic surgery reigns supreme in H town. I assumed that it was just boob jobs. That's what people always talk about. But I was wrong. It is everything. Almost no one in Hollywood is natural. Almost everyone is man-made, a mere mirage.
Now there's nothing wrong with nose jobs or plastic surgery, and if it makes you more beautiful (as it certainly does in some cases) and happier, I say go for it. I really don't care that celebrities get plastic surgery; it just disillusions me when I realize that they're not really as beautiful as I thought they were. Nature didn't make them beautiful, a doctor did. But I had believed that they were really, truly beautiful. And that's how they're sold, as real beauties, as creatures better than everyone else; when in point of fact, the only difference between them and everyone else is the skilled hand of a plastic surgeon.
I told my friends about all the celebs I found who have had nose jobs, and one of my friends said that "It actually makes you feel better, knowing that they're not so unattainable as you thought." Yes, it does, and it doesn't. Yes, I like thinking that they're no better than me, that with some money and a skilled plastic surgeon, I could be as breathtakingly beautiful as some of them. But on the other hand, I also liked looking up to some of these people; I liked admiring them as something better. It's like looking up to Superman and finding out that he wasn't born strong, he just takes a lot of steroids. Sure, it's nice to think that I could be like him if I just did what he did, but at the same time, I liked thinking there was someone like him in the world. He was unique, a better creature created from nature. To find out that he has been worked on by man despoils him, topples him from his high pedestal, and makes him ordinary.
I think that's the real disappointment, finding out that these people you looked up to are really just ordinary people with great surgeons. It's nice to know, and yet, it's not at the same time.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Acceptance vs Denial
I did something a while ago which I was in denial about. I'll go so far as to say it relates to a matter of the heart. Even before I did this thing, I kept telling myself -- because I was really afraid and nervous about it -- that I should just do it, and after I did it, I could pretend I didn't do it (the denial part).
Well, I did it. But afterwards, I couldn't pretend I didn't do it, and actually, trying to deny it and to avoid the consequences of my actions led me to lots of suffering and anxiety for over a month and a half. And mind you, all this suffering I caused to myself because it only existed in my head and heart.
In any case, though I suffered, I learned a good lesson, which was that, "Denial makes you suffer more than you need to." So then, recently, when I attempted something else concerning a matter of the heart, but bolder, I decided to accept what I did instead. I did not try to "deny" my actions this time. I did not try to pretend I did not do them. And what I have found is that I am so much more happier and at peace and satisfied with myself than I could ever imagine simply because I accepted my actions.
Before, when I tried to deny what I did, I became so fearful and anxious, it actually made it harder for me to forget what I did. It was so constantly on my mind. This time, when I let myself accept it, I feel so much happier and lighter, like a great weight has been lifted off of me. I feel really great about myself. And what's so amazing to me is that my actions are not at all different. All I did was change the way I dealt with them, and that made all the difference.
I feel better now because I accepted what I did and approve of it. And I realize now how important that is to me, to my mind, to my body, to accept and approve of my actions. And the other thing is, having accepted my actions, the natural course of things -- that I tried to artificially install before -- made it easier to forget what I did, and led me to a place where I could actually wonder if I really did do what I did.
Because I accept my actions, they seem less real. When I denied them, they seemed all too real. The amount of suffering I endured before and the lack of any of it now is totally unbelievable and completely awe-inspiring to me. This is the gift of acceptance, and I am really grateful that I learned it.
Well, I did it. But afterwards, I couldn't pretend I didn't do it, and actually, trying to deny it and to avoid the consequences of my actions led me to lots of suffering and anxiety for over a month and a half. And mind you, all this suffering I caused to myself because it only existed in my head and heart.
In any case, though I suffered, I learned a good lesson, which was that, "Denial makes you suffer more than you need to." So then, recently, when I attempted something else concerning a matter of the heart, but bolder, I decided to accept what I did instead. I did not try to "deny" my actions this time. I did not try to pretend I did not do them. And what I have found is that I am so much more happier and at peace and satisfied with myself than I could ever imagine simply because I accepted my actions.
Before, when I tried to deny what I did, I became so fearful and anxious, it actually made it harder for me to forget what I did. It was so constantly on my mind. This time, when I let myself accept it, I feel so much happier and lighter, like a great weight has been lifted off of me. I feel really great about myself. And what's so amazing to me is that my actions are not at all different. All I did was change the way I dealt with them, and that made all the difference.
I feel better now because I accepted what I did and approve of it. And I realize now how important that is to me, to my mind, to my body, to accept and approve of my actions. And the other thing is, having accepted my actions, the natural course of things -- that I tried to artificially install before -- made it easier to forget what I did, and led me to a place where I could actually wonder if I really did do what I did.
Because I accept my actions, they seem less real. When I denied them, they seemed all too real. The amount of suffering I endured before and the lack of any of it now is totally unbelievable and completely awe-inspiring to me. This is the gift of acceptance, and I am really grateful that I learned it.
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