A Skinny Bitch's View

I was talking to my friend this weekend about a play she saw which focused on the plight of an overweight character within a group of skinny girls.  Being a skinny girl herself, she didn't care for the play, which seemed to be more about "skinny bashing" than anything else.  Her reaction, however, was not the norm, as other people she knew, some overweight, identified with and loved the play.

Skinny Bitches 

This got me to thinking about the time I was watching "More to Love" (and excited to watch it too!), when I heard one of the girls referring to non-fat girls as "the skinny bitches."  That comment made me abruptly lose interest in the show; I didn't want to root for anyone who seemed to so dislike people like me just for being thin.

And then my friend and I started venting in a very non-PC way about the plight of "skinny bitches" like ourselves.  Yes, it's like the cliche about the lonely rich girl or the sad pretty girl, but seriously, s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y, why is it okay for someone to call me a "skinny bitch" and me not to be able to call them a "fat bitch"?  Are we not both expressing a truth?  Why is it acceptable for them to say that, but would be deemed "mean" of me?  Don't get me wrong, we're both being mean, but why is it more acceptable for one person to be mean to the other and the other has to take it?

I know, I know; it's because society values skinniness over fatness.  And so the skinny people are more admired, get more positive attention, and in order to balance it out, some overweight people feel the need to bring us down a notch, to let their bitterness and their resentment rain on our parade, so to speak.  Why should they make it easy for us to be happy when it's so hard for them?  We can't have it all, after all.

And with that argument, I let my indignation go.  It's annoying, but I understand.  But don't get me wrong; I still think it's unfair.  It's unfair, because once again - as in my blog about waiters and tipping - their anger is misplaced.

They Should Be Angry At Themselves 

I'm not the one who forced them to eat and gain weight.  All I did was keep my own weight in check.  How come they get to enjoy more food than me and also get to be bitter at me for the result of it?  If I make them feel bad about themselves, it's not because of anything I've said or done to them.  (The overweight people I know, I couldn't care less that they're overweight unless it concerns their health).  But for some people, I'm a reminder of what they want but haven't been able to do for themselves.  That's it.  They should be angry at themselves.  Or they should let it go.  The people who misplace their anger onto other people for their own faults are the ones who will never be able to change themselves for the better. 


Your Body Knows Better Than You

Sure it's hard to lose weight.  I know.  In junior high school, I subsisted on a diet of bread and water thinking that I had to be as skinny (meaning weigh as little) as my skinny friend.  Turns out she was shorter than me (at the time) and that's why she weighed less.  The result of my starvation diet and constant exercise?  I probably stunted my height a bit.  But it taught me a really great lesson, and that was that:  my body knows better than me.  After I stopped with the starvation and exercise cold turkey, I ballooned to about 30 pounds heavier than my lowest weight.  But for some reason, I didn't get scared.  I just let it go and realized that my body would return to its normal weight if I just let it.  And it did.

Accept Yourself

The other thing I learned from my weight loss experience is to Accept Yourself.  Accept yourself.  You're not supposed to weigh what other people weigh, or look like other people look.  You're going to look like you and that's what makes you unique and special.  If losing weight is too hard and you want to quit, then quit.  But quit, and accept yourself.  Don't take your anger out on other people who didn't do anything to you.  Quit and enjoy your food and enjoy your life.  You don't have to feel bad about yourself.  You can choose to love yourself.  And if there are people in the world you meet who want to make you feel bad, realize that that stems from their own insecurity about themselves.  They're taking their anger at themselves out on you.  Sound familiar?  People who love and accept themselves will love and accept you just the way you are.  That's the truth.